A Hole in One

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Sometimes there’s nothing to do
But sit with that emotion
Twisting, turning, thoughts unfolding
Leading nowhere. 

My head’s a mess, your love is rest
I wish I was like you. 

You’re kind, you’re loving, you laugh a lot
And nothing seems to bother
You’re like a work of art unlocked
And all the world’s your oyster. 

I only want to be someone that you would find on par
A peer, accepting, self-sustaining, living in his truth
Instead I find I’m just too anxious, given to complaining. 

I’m that toxic energy that you avoid with care
I’m too dependent, far too needy and given to despair
I wish I wasn’t who I am or where I find myself
So if you find it in your heart to love me, run. 

Won’t bring you down. 

I judge, depressed, I’m sad a lot, I don’t know who I am
I mourn the loss of who I was some many years ago 
All hope is lost, trapped in this box
And nothing’s here to save me. 

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