Tf is a Good Life

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I look at everyone around me and see something I'm missing. Some have a drive for music, others for comedy or literature, and still others for making more money or... something. And when I look within myself, I don't find a drive. I don't find any future goal I want. I'm not much of a materialist. I like sexy clothes and good music, but I don't feel this Wahlberg-drive to produce content. I desire fame, but I know that this is not a source of happiness, so I try to keep it in check. 

And here I think I stumble upon something deeper. I desire to desire something out of life because that's the message I see around me: self-worth can found in achievements and noble pursuits and attention. 

I'm reading cathartic quotes from Michel de Montaigne related to this modern idea of happiness, and I hope I can devote more time to reading his stuff. Do you babes want some samples? Fuck yeah you do :)

“There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.”

"In practice, thousands of little women in their villages have lived more gentle, more equable and more constant lives than [Cicero]."

"My art and profession is to live."

All this time I've devoted to thinking about how to live could have been better spent living. I could use more "Wu Wei" in my life. Wu Wei is the idea of "non action", or actionless action. I've heard it's like "being in the zone". It's about letting go of control to live in the present moment. 

I resist this simplicity because of FOMO. "WHAT IF I COULD BE LIVING BETTER", I always ask myself. "What if I offend someone by not thinking about what I'm saying? What if I hurt someone's feelings?" 

I don't think we can avoid hurting people and getting hurt by people, even if we do think through how we say things with razor precision. If 2021 is teaching us anything, it's that anything can be offensive to anyone, so you might as well say and do whatever you want and apologize as needed and learn as you go. Fucking get cancelled, who cares. 

I will never understand the meaning of life, and that says more about life than it does about me or my capacity to reason. If philosophy can teach us anything, it's that people have pondered the meaning of life for millenia and come back empty-handed. 

The meaning of life is as elusive now as it was in the days of Plato and Aristotle. A truly good life isn't about achievements or passions or whatever. It's doing the dishes; it's playing with your dog and farting on a friend's pillow. A truly good life is right in front of you right now.

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