Larry Daviding (yeeting) People Away
Colors are bursting from my heart today. I rely on this color, shaping my world and giving me help. When my inner motivation isn't there, I feel myself drowning and can't be the man I want to be. I want to be consistent, but sometimes just doing my taxes or buying new shirts to replace my torn-button shirts is the biggest effort. And I know I only have myself to blame. I tell myself not to be so hard on myself, but all I can do is imagine better versions of myself that I'm failing to be. Are my expectations too high? Or am I just a lazy piece of shit? I think this question stems from not feeling loved enough. And I have plenty of friends who love me deeply. So I guess it's not that I'm not objectively loved enough but that I don't feel loved enough. I probably just need to go out with friends more, but when I get home after working my ass off, all I want to do is chill with an unhealthy snack and watch TV. Why are my base tendencies such a far cry from the man ...