Bowling with Buddies

Jeff got to the Lanes at Coffee Creek bowling alley early. He had been late to friend hangouts too often these days, he'd decided. His glasses fogged up as he got out of his car and he wiped them with the bottom of his shirt. They fogged up again anyway. 

Seymore and Patrick parked next to him shortly after with someone Jeff didn't know in the backseat. He admired Seymore's ability to drag new people into the friend group but it also made him feel less special, like Seymore would invite just about anybody. 

"Hey, this is Brett," said Seymore, looking toward the bowling alley with a hint of impatience. He was like that sometimes.

"Nice to meet you, Brett," said Jeff, hugging Seymore to get his attention briefly before they entered the alley. Seymore didn't look at him.

"No hug for me?" asked Patrick. His hair was still wet, probably from a shower, and his face a little red from August. He turned his face to the side so Jeff could kiss his cheek, which he did. Jeff hugged him quickly, ready to get out of the heat. Jeans and a long-sleeve shirt had not been the right move. But once inside the AC-blasted bowling alley, he felt better. 

They did all the things people do at bowling alleys to get checked in and the usual bowling alley small talk: "let's not think about how many people have used these shoes" and "using bumpers is for pussies". 

Cat showed up a little while later in a tight blue shirt showing a touch of toned belly. She was wearing jeans too, and Jeff commented on their similar jeans. He immediately regretted that conversation starter. 

"Thanks," she replied.

Brett had invited her, so the two of them chatted while Seymore and Patrick exchanged some kisses. PDA only bothered Jeff when he wasn't involved. 

"Hey, Dave let's get this going," said Brett. Nobody called Seymore by his first name, so Jeff guessed that they must not know each other too well. Or perhaps they knew each other very well from childhood or something. Jeff wasn't quite interested enough to pursue it.

"Okay, you and Jeff are on my team. Patrick and Cat, y'all can be on the other," said Seymore. His tone left no room for disagreement, and he hugged Jeff as they walked to the other side of the ball rack. Jeff felt his warmth and smelled his vape pen's guava scent when he talked. 

Cat started first because Brett said "lady's first". Cat threw her ball to the gutter on both attempts and scrunched her face and her fists in mock frustration.

Jeff went next and swung his hips from side to side goofily before he went into his bowling motion. 

"Nice ass!" said Seymore and the rest chimed in agreeing. Jeff didn't do well. He was feeling rather tense and his heart was racing from the Starbucks drink he'd had on the drive there. He only knocked over two pins on opposite ends of the lane.

He wasn't sure what to do with his hands when as he walked to the booth so he raised both fists in the air unenthusiastically. Seymore laughed warmly and Jeff sat next to him. 

"How's your weekend been so far?"

Jeff said something about getting chores done and commented on how good Patrick looked. 

"I know right?" said Seymore. "He's so cute in his tight shirt, huh. I just wanna bend him over all the time."

Jeff forced a smile and wished Cat would look at him. She was looking at her phone and probably too young for him anyway. 

At some point mid-game, Patrick went to get a pizza with Seymore's credit card. 

"Nothing better than bowling alley pizza, huh?" said Jeff. 

Seymore caught the sarcasm, "Oh my god I know. I just wanna shove it down my throat."

Seymore had a way of turning everything sexual and Jeff's humor was in line with it. 

"Just let the cheese melt in my mouth as it goes down," said Jeff. The dominos of sexual references continued to fall for a while. Cat seemed uncomfortable with a smile that looked like as fake as a Barbie's, but Brett was laughing. Brett's head was moving a lot, but he never seemed to direct his attention at anything in particular.

"God this is so good," said Jeff, eating a greasy slice of pepperoni. 

"Sure is," said Seymore. 

"Thank you, baby," said Patrick, handing back his credit card.  

"Mmm," said Seymore giving him a kiss. "I love you, baby."

"I like you," said Patrick. 

"No you love me."

"Oh yes I LOVE you," said Patrick. 

"Okay now don't y'all go getting me all hard," said Jeff jokingly. 

Cat laughed at that which puzzled Jeff. Where she drew the line on comedic sexual references was becoming increasingly mysterious. Or maybe this laughter was her way of trying to fit in. Jeff decided to meet her. 

"How do you know Brett?" he asked. 

"I met him at a concert one time," she said, not sounding particularly interested in talking. Jeff decided to keep pushing. 

"Which concert?" 

"Post Malone."

"Oh nice! I got to see him too." Jeff talked about his experience seeing Post Malone before Covid-19 hit. 

"That's really nice," was all she had to say. 

"Mhm," said Jeff. "Hey good luck out there by the way." He pointed at the bowling lane .

"Oh I'll need it," she said, looking away. The conversation was clearly painful for her so Jeff looked over at Seymore and Patrick who were making out in their booth. Brett was looking at nothing, and Jeff had run out of people to talk to. He found a seat by the half-empty pizza box and got on his phone. 

Some Tinder matches had texted him, and his mother had asked him for a recipe on duck she wanted to cook for her mother. It only took him a few minutes to reply to everything so he hopped on Facebook, keenly aware that his group had started a new bowling match without telling him. He wanted them to ask him to join them so he remained where he was sitting. 

"You okay?" asked Seymore. 

"Yeah, I'm good," said Jeff, massaging his shoulder with his opposite hand. 

"I got you," said Seymore massaging it for him. 

Jeff looked at Patrick but Patrick was on his phone. It always surprised Jeff that none of Seymore's dates ever seemed jealous of him. And that almost annoyed him. His connection with Seymore was undeniable. He could easily imagine going in for a kiss with Seymore. But then he forced himself to remember all the times Seymore had blown him off when they were both single in small ways. Oh and of course Seymore wasn't single anymore, though he always kind of acted like he was. 

The next game Jeff did surprisingly well and hit several spares and even a strike. They had also changed teams so he sat between Brett and Cat between bowls. Cat opened up a little more and they found they could relate on drug talk. They agreed it had been too long since either of them had done shrooms. Cat mentioned she could get someone to sell them "some good stuff" and that they could have a "good trip" together but she didn't set a date. Jeff knew it would never happen but pretended it would for the sake of conversation. 

Jeff felt sorry for Brett who clearly wanted to talk to Seymore. He would shout at him over the music about things only they could relate to and Seymore would say the minimum possible response to get back to chatting with Patrick. At this point Patrick was sitting in Seymore's lap. 

The game ended at 4 P.M. and the group wanted to go for drinks. Jeff was feeling tired though and drove home: an apartment with a rickety gate and a hot leasing agent. He sat on the couch and felt the empty space next to him where his ex girlfriend used to lay down to put her head in his lap. He remembered sometimes putting a pillow in his lap for her neck support. 

He didn't think about her that often anymore though. He felt tired and sad. But a small glimmer of hope for a future with someone he loved still clung to him. He wanted to stomp out that hope completely. It's not in the cards for me, he would tell himself. He guessed that mentality came from some place of self-hatred that would stay with him forever. 

How do you let go of a negative self image? he thought. 

Rain battered the parking lot and his apartment window now. He looked at his dog who nuzzled him for pets. Jeff obliged and hummed the Game of Thrones tune as the next episode began.