My Situashe

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I'm nearly at the end of my finances since I lost my last job. Sure, I have side hustles to support my needs, but in a worst case scenario I end up back with my parents until I find a job that can financially support me again (I love my parents of course but I'd rather have my own place). Because the way things stand right now with the money I'm making from substitute teaching and Door Dashing, I'd have to find an apartment that costs less than $500/mo including utilities. And those don't exist in Houston unless I want my car jacked daily.

I've applied to hundreds of jobs. It's tiring talking to recruiters after a while, explaining why you'd be valuable to various companies. It's tiring researching companies before an interview: Who's the hiring manager (and how much can I find out about him/her by stalking them on LinkedIn)? What is this company's culture? What do they want to hear from me, and how can I deliver it without sounding inauthentic? When did the company start? Who's the current CEO? What is this company's goals and how would I fit in with those goals? What's the role I applied for again? Oh yeah, sales. Okay is it Sales Executive or Account manager? Okay account manager... got to be sure to talk about how much I love managing accounts. Oh wait, it's Sales Executive. Better emphasize that one time I worked with BD on onboarding some customers. 

And then it's interviewing and trying to connect with the hiring manager in thirty minutes to stand out from the other applicants: perhaps applicants in less desperate situations. Oh sweet sweet desperation. Can't sound desperate even though I am. Companies don't want to hire desperate employees. God forbid. 

Then it's repeating myself in every interview by answering the inevitable intro question: cOuLd yOu wAlK mE tHrOuGh yOuR ReSuMe? Like did you not even read my resume? I spent a lot of time writing and revising that thing. Did I do all this research on you for you to not even research me for a second? It's fucking ridiculous. And then it's "you should hear back from us in around a week or so" and not hearing back most of the time until I reach out for an update. Or if you do hear back, it's a "while you were an impressive candidate, we have decided to pursue another candidate who more closely matches our needs". Just be honest. Goddam. Tell me why I didn't make the cut. Tell me you didn't even consider me after an internal employee applied. Tell me I came across too nonchalant in the interview (shit, should I have sounded more desperate?). Honest data would be more helpful. 

Usually at this point in my blog, I start trying to make things sound better or put a positive spin on things. Is that gaslighting myself? That term gets used a bit too much now. This is not a cry for help. It's just me sharing an unfortunate situation I find myself in.

Signing off and hoping things improve. Thank you to all my friends and family for your constant support. Love y'all.

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