Daiquris
"Do you even like the zoo that much?"
"Not really."
"Then why are we here?"
"Well it feels like something I should like?"
"Why?"
"Well I grew up going to the zoo and I know I like animals."
"Sure."
"And I like, like... going out and shit."
"And?"
"So I feel like when those things combine I should be like into it, ya know?"
"That's where I lose you. It's like you think because you like peanut butter and cloves, you think that a peanut butter covered clove would be tasty."
"That's a really weird example. Also I'm not sure that wouldn't be tasty, can't quite picture the flavor."
"That's a fair point haha. But it's not as weird an example as your shit."
"Can we just look at these koalas in peace?"
"I'm bored."
"Me too."
"Then let's go get a daiquiri."
"I'm not really in the mood."
"But you like daiquiris so you should be in the mood."
"Nice. I get it already."
"Haha, okay fair enough, silly goose."
"Silly goose?"
"Just let loose, ya know?"
"I am letting loose."
"Then why are your shoulders all tensed up?"
"Why are you so insufferable?"
"Because you married me."
"Is that why? You should've married Jeff then."
"I couldn't torture Jeff like I can torture you."
"Okay that's true. He had a backbone."
"You have a backbone too. You just let it bend at weird times."
"Why are you always psychoanalyzing me?"
...
"Right. I've got a therapist for a wife."
"Haha, yeah. You think your life is hard."
"Sales is hard."
"True. Sorry."
"Now I need a daiquiri."
"Well then I'm glad we're on the same page."
"Cool."
"Can I tell you something?"
"I guess."
"You know, it wouldn't hurt you to be a little more selfish sometimes. I don't mean like Jeff. I'm not comparing you two. I just mean I think sometimes you hold back."
"What do you mean?"
"Like to just do things because you want to... in your life."
"I feel like I do that."
"You do sometimes, but I see you smiling and waving at people in this zoo that you don't even care about."
"I'm just being nice, Jesus."
"Yeah but do you always have to be so nice? It just seems exhausting is all."
...
"Okay, that's the last unsolicited advice I'll give. I'll shut up now."
"You're fine... And you have a point. I don't know why I'm always nice."
"That's okay."
"Mm, not really. I do want to feel more free day to day. I want to do more stuff just because I like it. I think I'm still stuck in this way of thinking that I should be doing certain things."
"Well with your upbringing and whatnot... Shit, I said I'd stop giving advice."
"Well, don't stop now."
"Haha okay. Well with your strict upbringing it kinda makes sense that you'd want to stick to an absolutist mindset and not allow yourself much freedom. You were trained that your emotions and inner world could be sinful or greedy or selfish."
"That's true. I remember one time I got in trouble for stealing my brother's snacks."
"Well... that's probably fair."
"Why?"
"There's being selfish and then there's disrespect."
"Okay let me think of another example. Okay one time I remember I got soap in my mouth for saying 'ass' in some dumb argument."
"Yeah that's a good example but you weren't being selfish there. You were just being punished for self-expression... actually I guess that's a good example. Self-expression was punished rather than managed. Your mom could've probably just helped you understand when it could be a bad idea to use that word rather than punish you in such an absolute way. Did you ever get in trouble for just doing something you enjoyed?"
"Yeah, I'd get in trouble for playing video games too much. Okay before I go on. This daiquiris is fucking good, right?"
"Now I'm really glad we're on the same page. What's that flavor?"
"Strawberry."
"Oh, did you ever get in trouble for liking a certain thing?"
"Porn."
"Ah, that's a good example. So you were punished for feeling sexual and expressing it?"
"Quite a bit."
"Makes sense."
"Huh?"
"Well we have sex."
"Obviously."
"And I... notice things."
"Like what?"
"Well you always ask if I'm okay or if I'm liking something, and you're obsessed with not coming before me."
"That's nice though right?"
"Well, it's okay to take what you want a little more. It kind of takes me out of the moment when you don't completely let go and lose yourself. Listen, I never get upset about the stuff you like. I like just about everything you do!"
"Do you?"
"Well, except sometimes when you get distracted or smack my ass too hard. But I'll tell you when you're crossing a line. You don't have to be afraid to try new stuff with me."
"I fucking love you."
"I love you too babe. Let's go home. All this talk about sex is giving me ideas."
"No, I'm supposed to initiate that."
"Mm, take charge babe."
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