A Sense of Dread
Sometimes I wonder if this self-acceptance ends in more than tears. If there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm in my own valley of sorrows and tipsy enough to recognize it. Three shots, three drinks. The trinity of alcohol. I have the most amazing friends. I have a plan for my finances now too. I see all of my friends suffering so much too. And it's so weird. I see how lovely we all are and how much suffering life offers. How much joy too of course, but let's not dodge reality. I want to sit here with this discomfort and see if that sitting offers any relief. I know you're supposed to come from an angle of not wanting relief, of just experiencing life as it is. At least according to Buddhist philosophy. So I'm going to trust that now. A live meditation. I still smell the chicken cooked with too much garlic and salt emanating from my kitchen. I hope less roaches infest the area. I see the glare of my screen. I'm squinting both from a sadness that...