Awkward Karaoke Bars

Her features were as sharp as her personality. Her nose like a hawk's, a black freckle midway down her cheek—the most perfect imperfection. 

The karaoke bar swelled with visitors and Jasmine had her arm around me. I leaned against a pillar with my vodka soda (I'd told Jaz, "get me whatever you're having" and now regretted the algae-water flavor). We were listening to an off-key "Before He Cheats" from a brave karaoke star. 

"Let's go outside. Carrie Underwood would be mortified."

Jaz ignored my joke and said, "Sure." She maintained a determined face as she impolitely pushed past people. 

"Hold on I gotta pee," I said.

"Okay."

"I mean you can go outside," I said, "I just gotta pee."

"Oh I'm going outside," she said.

I wanted to apologize for accidentally suggesting she should wait for me while I peed, but she was already plowing her way outside.

By the time I found her on the bar patio, she was deep in conversation with a girl in a Rosie O'Donnell haircut. She told me her name was Rachel but that I could call her Rache. She was flirting successfully with Jasmine. 

Jasmine was laughing about something Rachel said when I arrived, and I resisted the urge to go, "What's the joke [and maybe insert an awkward laugh to come off casual]".

I guess she assumed I was thinking that by my facial expression so she went, "Rache just said she had a threesome but one of the girls smelled like fish down there."

"Oh," I said with the most authentic laugh I could muster. 

"Sorry if I'm too much," said Rache.

"No, no that's hilarious," I said.

Jaz took a sip of her drink. "Is Isaiah about to sing?" She clearly wanted me to leave her with Rache. I knew this because the week before, when I had been trying to fondle Jaz on the patio couch, she had asked our mutual friend, Jared (sitting next to us), if his friend was about to sing.

"I'm not sure," I said, hoping to see some reaction on her face that indicated my assumption was off. I didn't.

So I went inside and ordered another drink. I circled the bar, glanced at the drag show going on on the other side, but couldn't find Isaiah. I pushed past people 'til I found a safe zone away from everyone. I looked longingly at Jaz and Rachel through the glass doors. Rachel was now brushing her hand on Jaz's shoulder every few seconds. So, of course, I went back outside.

"Everyone needs therapy," said Rachel. "And if they don't agree, they just don't see it."

"I don't think therapy's for everyone," I said, taking the opportunity to show I had backbone. Jasmine gave me a look. "I think different things work for different people. Some people need time in nature, some just do nice things for others, it's whatever."

"I'm seeing a different side of you," said Jaz.

"What?"

"Your attitude smacks of pride," she sipped her drink, biting her straw, "I used to think you were sweet and cuddly. But now... I dunno."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Look, I've been abused before," she said. "So I know that pride can lead to retaliation."

I felt my face reddening. "I don't think saying that not everyone needs therapy is a prideful comment. In fact, I'm willing to be wrong about this."

"It's more your attitude than anything," she said. And just like that she turned around to get another drink.

"That's ridiculous," I said to Rachel. "I'm not an aggressive, abusive person, this is nuts."

"Hey you just gotta realize that everyone's entitled to their opinion," she said. "I don't think she meant anything by it."

I guess having known Jasmine for half an hour was enough time for Rachel to know her better than I did.

I got an Uber.

I waited by the curb. Jaz texted me, hey where are you.

I'm getting an Uber, I texted. It's getting late and my dogs need me.

Bye.

Bye.