The Prince of Eagles

-
The court jester motioned at the princess: "I'd slap her pussy juice across the room with this hand!" The bells on his stupid hat jingled as he grabbed his wrist as if his hand was made of gold. 

No one laughed. This joke had just followed a series of equally disappointing jokes about how he would bang the princess.

So he resorted to a last effort: "The only problem with banging the princess is that I'm too gay!" 

He rushed to a pre-set male in the crowd and proceeded to fake fuck him. But he had chosen a spot precariously close to the sharp edges of a wooden table and pelvic thrusted the poor bastard into a corner. It broke his tooth and split his lip and the poor guy howled in pain. 

The jester blushed, rushed to the prince's table and said, "Please could we find someone to take him to the medicine man?"

The prince just stared at him. 

The jester awkwardly laughed and pointed at his plate, "Please save some of that lamb for me, if you would."

The prince's bottom lip trembled with fury and the jester grabbed the split-lipped man by the shoulder and led him away from the Palace of Eagles. 

The prince whispered to a waiter, and the waiter cleared the jester's plate. 

"I'll have his tongue on the morrow," said the prince. And the whole palace cheered. 

Luckily the jester was near the exit and narrowly escaped the guards.

As he ran he remembered the sweet words of Minselea from the previous town: "You may suck at comedy, but you can still suck on this pussy."

He would see Minselea again. No fucking guards would take this from him.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anxiety & Depression

-
A therapist has diagnosed me with anxiety and depression as “mood disorders”, so my experience of these disorders is not serious enough to warrant medication or mild enough to do nothing. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been the most effective treatment to date, but perhaps talk therapy to unpack my past will be beneficial in the future. When I feel anxious, my neck tenses, and I can feel my heart beat like a drum in my chest. When depressed, there is a perpetual weight behind my eyes, not heavy enough to let me sleep and not light enough to let me find interest in things. When I experience both simultaneously, the opposing forces paralyze me. Some factors are built in my very nature. I see some genetic predispositions for anxiety and depression in myself and my family, and thyroid issues sometimes require medical care. Other factors are environmental. Growing up, there was one way to live out my spirituality, one way to live out my sexuality, and one way to be: Roman Catholic....
Read more

Xuân Hưong

-
Xuân Hưong might just be my new favorite soup spot. I ended up there like most sick people do, needing some hot, spicy soup to dissolve the phlegm. Okay that was gross.  I had two restaurant options. Lem's was right nextdoor and had higher reviews. But it had a chain feel. Bright neon lights out front. Special parking arrangements. And I began to sense that negative reviews for Xuân Hưong might be based on appearance. Xuân Hưong looked unassuming. One of the lights was knocked out. The building looked worn as if it was entirely made of drywall. But it looked homey. I trusted my gut and walked in. I waved at the waitress behind the counter and she grinned but looked down. Good. I like when they show respect but also have a bit of a "IDGAF" attitude. That's when you know the food will be good.  "I'd like to order to-go," I said.  "Menu?" she asked in broken English.  "Yes." I sat down with a spiral bound menu with four simple pages. App...
Read more

Friends with Benefits

-
Well how long will you fuck her? said Jeff.  As long as she'll let me, I guess, I said. I almost said I suppose but knew I'd only be saying that to sound more sophisticated. More in control. I took another sip of Bulleit.  So that's that huh. I detected a hint of judgment and an unspoken request for a redeeming reason. I could've said that we did have chemistry or  who knows where this might go . But that didn't feel honest. Really. So instead I stood up to get the bottle for a refill. He tapped his cigar butt while looking down. Jeff was sophisticated. At least he liked to think so. He did use beard oil. I purposely poured his whiskey too quickly and enjoyed his panicked DUDE.  Truthfully I felt a little bad fucking someone just because they allowed it. She was a placeholder for someone I actually wanted. And fucking her anyway felt. Wrong. But I had made myself clear. I see us just as friends, I'd said. And she'd still agreed to keep fucking me. So maybe w...
Read more