A Simple Thing

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I'm anxious. I'll hear my heart racing over the slightest thing.

Is that not okay?

No. I want to feel at peace.

But what if what being peaceful all the time isn't you? What if being anxious makes you who you are? And what if that's okay to carry with you? What if it's not a problem to solve but a condition of life to embrace? And look at what it gives you.

What does it give me?

Empathy. You can feel all the threads of emotion in a room. It's a superpower of sensitivity to a room's vibrations that not everyone has. And you can move with it. You can feel those vibrations and still decide on what's best for you, even if you know it'll disturb that peace. Even if you know it'll make people uncomfortable.

I don't much like this. Like others seems so peaceful and okay with things.

Seem.

They're all faking?

A lot of them are. Or they're on drugs. How many people do you really know who just don't give a fuck?

Not many. And usually they're callous or uncaring in a bad way. Like they'll cross boundaries in a disrespectful way and then blame people for having those boundaries. But then you better not cross them so it's a double standard.

...

Yeah...

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