Sexy Gandolf

-

Gandolf yanked his penis out of Frado with alarming speed for his age. Frado, shot his own load with heavy breaths and drool running down to his hairy feet. 

"Gandolf!" Frado pulled the ring from his penis.

"Yes, my boy. It's good to see you again." (Gandolf preferred Frado invisible so he could fantasize about Goladriel, too). And Gandolf let out a hearty laugh and gave Frado's butt a whack with his staff. 

Som, Marry and Pappin clapped and Boramir groaned as he had nothing left to jerking off to. Aragarn gave his little chuckle reserved for only the funniest of moments. Arwan tugged Aragarn's penis too, just so slightly. But it was enough to get him to a half chub. 

"So what's for dinner?" asked Gamli. He wore his dwarven helm and nothing else, hoping Eawyn would glance his way (to no avail). 

"Oh I'm sure I'll think of something," said Gandolf, shimmying into his cloak and conjuring a loaf of lembas bread with magic. "Nothing like a good ejaculation before commiseration."

And they all hung their heads in silence, remembering Denathor launching himself from the walls of Manas Tarith.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anxiety & Depression

-
A therapist has diagnosed me with anxiety and depression as “mood disorders”, so my experience of these disorders is not serious enough to warrant medication or mild enough to do nothing. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been the most effective treatment to date, but perhaps talk therapy to unpack my past will be beneficial in the future. When I feel anxious, my neck tenses, and I can feel my heart beat like a drum in my chest. When depressed, there is a perpetual weight behind my eyes, not heavy enough to let me sleep and not light enough to let me find interest in things. When I experience both simultaneously, the opposing forces paralyze me. Some factors are built in my very nature. I see some genetic predispositions for anxiety and depression in myself and my family, and thyroid issues sometimes require medical care. Other factors are environmental. Growing up, there was one way to live out my spirituality, one way to live out my sexuality, and one way to be: Roman Catholic....
Read more

Xuân Hưong

-
Xuân Hưong might just be my new favorite soup spot. I ended up there like most sick people do, needing some hot, spicy soup to dissolve the phlegm. Okay that was gross.  I had two restaurant options. Lem's was right nextdoor and had higher reviews. But it had a chain feel. Bright neon lights out front. Special parking arrangements. And I began to sense that negative reviews for Xuân Hưong might be based on appearance. Xuân Hưong looked unassuming. One of the lights was knocked out. The building looked worn as if it was entirely made of drywall. But it looked homey. I trusted my gut and walked in. I waved at the waitress behind the counter and she grinned but looked down. Good. I like when they show respect but also have a bit of a "IDGAF" attitude. That's when you know the food will be good.  "I'd like to order to-go," I said.  "Menu?" she asked in broken English.  "Yes." I sat down with a spiral bound menu with four simple pages. App...
Read more

Friends with Benefits

-
Well how long will you fuck her? said Jeff.  As long as she'll let me, I guess, I said. I almost said I suppose but knew I'd only be saying that to sound more sophisticated. More in control. I took another sip of Bulleit.  So that's that huh. I detected a hint of judgment and an unspoken request for a redeeming reason. I could've said that we did have chemistry or  who knows where this might go . But that didn't feel honest. Really. So instead I stood up to get the bottle for a refill. He tapped his cigar butt while looking down. Jeff was sophisticated. At least he liked to think so. He did use beard oil. I purposely poured his whiskey too quickly and enjoyed his panicked DUDE.  Truthfully I felt a little bad fucking someone just because they allowed it. She was a placeholder for someone I actually wanted. And fucking her anyway felt. Wrong. But I had made myself clear. I see us just as friends, I'd said. And she'd still agreed to keep fucking me. So maybe w...
Read more