Posts

A Spiritual Search

I spent last Sunday Church hunting. I used to despise folks who did that growing up. Catholicism is the truth, and its truth is within any Catholic Church, so why shop around?  I thought. I now see that no spirituality or philosophy is perfect, and deciding which communities to be a part of takes some searching, much like dating.  I'm quite done with Catholicism (see many previous posts, lol), so I tried a Unitarian Zoom chat. It was gloomy. An older woman, I believe a Reverend, was talking slowly about the role God plays in life. I did not stay in the chat long. She spoke with the same level of condescension that I grew up with, and it was less than ideal.  I tried another Unitarian chat. It was 11:15am on Sunday. It was a Zoom chat for a Church near Galveston bay, and it showed. Thick country accents and a hodgepodge of Reverends speaking over each other was very unappealing. They were praying for their parishioners and talking about how good God is. I left that chat as...

It's OK to be Ordinary

"If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." -St. Paul to the Corinthians When I look at myself, I don't see much. I'm an overweight, anxiety-ridden fellow. I don't follow through on my dreams, and my work ethic leaves much to be desired. I don't have one thing that makes me stand out from the pack. Some of my friends are excellent musicians, engineers, actors, comedians, or writers. I'm decent at a lot of different things, but I'm not child-prodigy-level at anything.  But when I consider why I want to be special, I realize it's because I want to be loved. I think that if I get enough attention, make enough money, get in great shape, that I will be loved. It's a lie I reinforce far too often.  But it seems love is found in more boring places, like face to face conversations with friends. I believe this is true because when I consi...

Finding Meaning After Catholicism

I was kicking a soccer ball outside a house I was renting with four roommates. I had gone through 5 preliminary interviews to re-enter seminary, and I had one last interview with the Bishop left. It was more of a formality, really. Entering Seminary to become a Catholic priest was nothing new to me; I'd done it twice before. My acceptance was basically guaranteed unless I spit on a crucifix in front of the Bishop or something.  I'd been a Youth Minister for the past three years. I loved working with the middle and high school students and teaching them Catholicism. But it wasn't enough. Perhaps I could become a married deacon, I told myself. It was starting to feel like a pathetic substitute for the deeper fulfillment I craved. I wanted to hold Jesus in my own hands as I consecrated the Eucharist. I wanted to baptize new Catholics. I wanted to preach homilies, hear confessions.  I stopped kicking the soccer ball and just stood there. That's when it all hit me all at on...

Value Development & the Games we Play

The myth of the cherry tree is probably the only myth I know about America's founding (or was Paul Bunyan in there somewhere too? #lumberjacklife). America's bootlicking of George Washington gave Mason Locke Weems the occasion to cash in a fat check with the ole cherry tree myth.  Weems tells us that George's dad surprised George with a hatchet one day (I guess this was an acceptable gift for a 6-year-old back then). George took the hatchet to his father's favorite cherry tree, damaging it so badly it would never recover. George's father asked everyone who did it, and George, holding the hatchet at the time he's asked (reducing the value of his admission in my opinion), confessed in his famous line , "I can’t tell a lie, Pa; you know I can’t tell a lie. I did cut it with my hatchet.”  This story shows a great response when children act according to personal values. George's dad, after the confession, has a whole prodigal son moment, welcomes his son in ...

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

We’ve all heard someone say, “I got spanked as a kid, and I turned out okay (usually accompanied with a cringy smile).” Spanking is defined as, “slapping  with one’s open hand or a flat object, especially on the buttocks (great word) as a punishment."  I think parents who spank their kids run to the defense of spanking in one of two ways: 1. When they're too young to listen to reason, spanking's all that works.  2. Other forms of discipline are weak compared to spanking.  The first one is perhaps the most difficult discussion. If a child is too young to listen to reason, spanking will correct negative behavior but also instill fear at a young age. Sure, the child is no longer crying, but only because they’re afraid.  Studies have shown that kids who grow up spanked tend towards aggression and see hitting as a way of resolving conflict. Studies have suggested benefits to conditional spanking from ages 2 to 6, where two open-handed swats to the buttocks (couldn...

Manliness

Thank you, Brad Pitt, for baring your sexy ass in one of Troy's opening scenes (a fact which a dear friend has told me was the actor's request). Of course your introductory scene as Achilles opens with an implied threesome—two gorgeous gals lying next to you on the tent floor. Reflections that follow are from the movie, Troy, not Homer's Iliad (source material).  Achilles' perfect hair, hairless abs, and dirty-braided blonde hair make him irresistible eye candy—his go-to combat maneuver: the euro-step-jump combo ending in a sword thrust to the enemy's neck. His every movement poised and collected. His final battle with Hector showcases the best of his skills, and he needed them too, apparently, since he claims that Hector was the best fighter he ever fought.  Hector, tamer of horses, is as far from Achilles as I am from Jason Momoa's body type. He's loyal, puts aside his feelings when a higher purpose calls, and fears things. Contrast that with Achilles nea...

Hiking

I need time to walk—taking steps into some secluded corner of nature. I'm a philosopher at heart. My mind belongs in Ancient Greece, while my body is in 21st century America. Kietzman said it well when he spoke in our last podcast, Average Joes (shameless plug), about the rustling of the wind among leaves as an "ancient sound". Being in nature, alone, is lifegiving.  Crunch, crunch, hot pavement, back sweat, sore calves. All of this is part of the hiking experience. The hot sun bearing down and offering a reddish hue to my exposed limbs reminds me that I'm alive. Hearing the crickets and cicadas, I feel a rhythm pulsing through the earth beneath my feet—that same earth spinning at a speed I cannot comprehend, yet somehow I am not flung from its surface. The miracle of life becomes apparent the deeper you walk into a forest, swatting spider webs and avoiding thorn bushes. We are here. We exist. We are connected. I spend most of my days asking myself questions that have...