Spencer Moseley

Gandolf yanked his penis out of Frado with alarming speed for his age. Frado, shot his own load with heavy breaths and drool running down to his hairy feet.  "Gandolf!" Frado pulled the ring from his penis. "Yes, my boy. It's good to see you again." (Gandolf preferred Frado invisible so he could fantasize about Goladriel, too). And Gandolf let out a hearty laugh and gave Frado's butt a whack with his staff.  Som, Marry and Pappin clapped and Boramir groaned as he had nothing left to jerking off to. Aragarn gave his little chuckle reserved for only the funniest of moments. Arwan tugged Aragarn's penis too, just so slightly. But it was enough to get him to a half chub.  "So what's for dinner?" asked Gamli. He wore his dwarven helm and nothing else, hoping Eawyn would glance his way (to no avail).  "Oh I'm sure I'll think of something," said Gandolf, shimmying into his cloak and conjuring a loaf of lembas bread with magic. ...

What's meaningful? What matters? It's kind of weird to think that only I can answer that. Only you can answer that. And our answers will probably be different. And you'll look at my LOTR books and be like wtf. And I'll look at your Taylor Swift collection and be like wtf.  But here we are. Two Worlds, One Family. Trust your heart. Let Faith Decide........nvm. (but for real what a banger song). My whole paradigm has shifted. I grew up thinking something mattered objectively for everyone, everywhere, all at once: God and getting to heaven and living a holy life.  Now I think that, objectively, nothing matters. That tree we both see doesn't matter. It's gonna die. Sure it may provide life to other creatures. Other creatures also bound for the same nothingness we will all sink into. Literally.  But things do matter, subjectively, TO ME. My friends and family matter. Sharing my thoughts and feelings in this blog matters. Nature matters. Singing matters. Things that m...

I think sometimes I look at someone smiling through pain and think "that person is so fake. There's no way they feel like smiling". But maybe how we approach pain is a choice, not a necessity. I can feel depressed or sad or tired or angry and respond with a smile. And that smile, that laugh, can make me feel better and good about my life.  And I think those are moments I look back at with fondness. I can remember certain times someone upset me and I just let it go or smiled back. And that felt wholesome and good. I felt more in control of my mood and of my life in those moments. I am certainly human and have to remember I won't always have it in me to smile. Sometimes my emotions will take the drivers seat. And I certainly don't want to smile as a way of hiding my pain from others.  But I think what I have to ask myself is: In this challenging moment, what do I want? If I want to feel my feelings for a bit and process them, great. But if I want to work on acceptin...

I'm anxious. I'll hear my heart racing over the slightest thing. Is that not okay? No. I want to feel at peace. But what if what being peaceful all the time isn't you? What if being anxious makes you who you are? And what if that's okay to carry with you? What if it's not a problem to solve but a condition of life to embrace? And look at what it gives you. What does it give me? Empathy. You can feel all the threads of emotion in a room. It's a superpower of sensitivity to a room's vibrations that not everyone has. And you can move with it. You can feel those vibrations and still decide on what's best for you, even if you know it'll disturb that peace. Even if you know it'll make people uncomfortable. I don't much like this. Like others seems so peaceful and okay with things. Seem. They're all faking? A lot of them are. Or they're on drugs. How many people do you really know who just don't give a fuck? Not many. And usually they...

I struggled to swallow the flavorless, dry bread. We were 7 hrs into our flight to Korea, and I couldn't adjust my seat in any way that would ease the burning pain in my lower back. A thought crossed my mind that I whispered to James: "What if I asked for 5 more things of butter. And then the stewardess comes over and sees us completely coating the bread in butter." "And then we just start shoving it up our asses," said James. We both burst out laughing. We had watched three movies already ( Cocaine Bear being the best), but it was time for Renfield . We looked around and saw three people watching The Lord of the Rings .  "We can watch that on the way back," said James. I nodded. We drifted in and out of sleep until the plane "landed": literally fishtailing until it came to a halt. "How did no one scream?" I asked.  "Good question. This pilot's drunk." We were in Korea. We de-boarded and entered a quiet, carpeted airp...

I was in the westernmost region of Nifalia. It was called Nifalia because an old witch by that name hanged herself here. And now I was here.  But not to hang myself.  I was here to find Nifalia’s last brew. Ironically: A brew of happiness. It was said to cure indifference.  An old dusty book sat perched against a pillar. I read the happiness recipe: toad flesh, warts, chicken talons (2), moss (collected on September’s first full moon), dragon tooth. At the bottom it read: Don’t fucking brew this.  I knew Chichipita had most of this at home. The dragon tooth was missing. I chucked the book at the wall in frustration. And heard a clink. A dragon tooth fell out of the book.  Must be Nifalia’s last gift , I thought. I portaled back to Chichipita with the dragon tooth. She rolled her eyes and gave me the dungeon key. "You find what you needed?" she smirked. "Just portal hopping," I said. "Sure." The old elf guardian looked at me gloomily and let me pass. Goodne...

The tree had three neighbors: a hen, an ox, and a gerbil.  The tree considered them friends because he could communicate with them. Or at least, he thought he could. By sending vibrations through his roots when they drew near, he could help them drift into a deep sleep. So his three neighbors spent lazy Sunday afternoons beneath his branches, sleeping on his massage roots. But one day the ox started taking shelter under a new tree on the other side of the farm. So the old tree was sad. It cried sweet sap that the farmer collected eagerly. He told his wife, "Look honey! More sap t' sell at the market!" This only made the old tree cry harder, and the farmer happier.  But then the tree had a thought. Maybe he could extend his roots to the new tree, and suck up its life force. And win back the ox. So it extended its roots beneath the earth. But to do this, the tree had to sink into the earth to create more length in the roots. The science here was tricky. So the tree sank all...